The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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