I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
