Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
