i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
