I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm determined to sit on that face.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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