Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
