and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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