great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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