Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
