Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
