it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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