White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
