Sponge bath it is.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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