Plan B is the new Plan A
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
