dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
