We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
