I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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