you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
