today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
