I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's blow job season.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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