I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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