you guys were way drunker than both of me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
