We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
