Screwed.edu
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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