so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
