Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
