I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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