I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
