weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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