Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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