Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
