I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am spending my child support on dildos
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
