We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize