He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
