i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
