I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
