so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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