I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
