So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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