Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
