omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
