So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
