So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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