Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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