You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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