I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
