Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
