dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
