Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
