I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
