Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
