How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
