I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
