Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
